The Case Of Commitment Phobia?


Thanks for joining us on our #beingsingle journey for the past few weeks – we are grateful. Maybe you have something you want us to touch on that we haven’t done yet, please send us a mail at It would be awesome to hear from you.

Wheew! Today what do we talk about? We have touched on being a Pouting Bag ,How long till i say yes ,Crushes Check listing  and many more. Today we want to talk about something most ladies like to keep in secret- a phobia for commitment stimulated by personal past experiences or that of others. Some ladies and even gentlemen are single because they have a deep rooted phobia for commitment.

Afi is a fun loving, outgoing and out spoken young lady yet one thing that can totally shut down Afi and cause her to recoil is the mention of a relationship or marriage. On countless occasions , Memuna , her close friend at the office has tried to understand why Afi falls back at the mention of the word relationship. Afi takes careful steps to avoid any gentleman who begins to show signs of wanting to settle down.

For an outsider, you might totally blame Afi for being a hermit when it comes to relationships but given an inside look you would most likely have a mind change. Afi grew up in a conflicted atmosphere which served as her home. Her father never drank or did drugs but he did women, countless women. In the beginning, he always apologized to her mum for committing adultery yet as the years went, the apologies dwindled to none and their home became a dignified brothel. Afi didn’t want to refer to her father as shameless but her mum did. Afi’s mum could not wrap her head around why a married man with a beautiful daughter and wife would keep bringing in concubines to share the guest room bed with. This situation made Afi loathe guys and made her silently vow to never date or marry since she now saw all men as having her dad’s trait.

Alas! Her vow was broken in final year of university, when she fell in love with Eben. She had fought the feelings hard yet Eben’s sweet soul had won her over. Two years after completing school, Afi walked in on Eben in an awkward scene with a lady whom Eben had before introduced as a cousin. Her heart was broken, and she revised her vow to never to go back that path again.

Unlike Afi, your reason may be different. However do not let fear stiffle you and cause you to be lonely when you are ready and want to settle down. The Bible tells us we have not been given the spirit of fear because fear cripples us. No human is a perfect partner but allow yourself to assess individuals from a clean state rather than a past experience.


2 Replies to “The Case Of Commitment Phobia?”

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