So before I penned something down on this, I decided to conduct a quick search on the web to see what it could come up with concerning this topic. So quite surprisingly it came up with very little. Either I am very bad with search engines or the search engines decided not to cough up much for me to examine. However, I know a lot of people have this conversation with their friends, family and even their Spiritual leaders. In all honesty I was hoping at least someone had written a book on it for me to steal some points.
The question still remains, how long till I say yes and on the other side how soon till I ask?
So two young people meet, a lady and a gentleman, in the most awkward of situations. Someway somehow they look pass the awkwardness and laugh it out. They find each other’s company quite entertaining and so they decide to get to know each other. The gentleman realizes he likes this lady and the lady also believes she has some kind of admiration for this gentleman- at least enough to consider a relationship with him. The probable question that could be running through the gentleman’s mind is, how soon till I ask her out? And the lady probably, when do I say yes if he should ask?
I remember reading a tweet where a lady was complaining about a guy who she had just met that day sending her a message immediately asking if she had a boyfriend. She seemed quite irritated by the kind of guts shown by this gentleman. What caught my attention about this tweet and got me laughing was a third party’s response to it, a guy no doubt. His response to her was it will save this other gentleman both airtime and data bundle since he would know whether to pursue her or not. What am I driving at? Some people are just looking for an immediate response.
There are those too who are willing to take the time to get to know you. Be friends with you for a while to the point of maybe allowing you to go through a few relationships and break ups to know how you handle them before they will ask.
They don’t mind being friends for years, as long as they have you near and they know you two have this unspoken bond till the time is ripe for them to make their moves.
And to the respondents, how soon is too soon? Some people may even have their responses ready before the question is thrown because they have made sure to give enough signals to spur the question in arriving sooner than maybe it was meant to come. And so it is of no surprise when the answer comes as yes. Some people will also like to just keep the suspense a bit longer, but no later than a week or two and make known their response. They are usually the ‘Give me some time to think about it’ people. Then there are those who stretch a person till they feel like breaking- months, years and they don’t want to give you positive news. Most of the time a number of ‘Nos’ come with every pose of the question. Not that they don’t like you, they are playing hard to get.
Is there a number? In my personal opinion I don’t believe there is.
The length with which you decide to wait before posing the question or providing a response to the question does not necessarily guarantee the success of that relationship. I have personally heard of a couple who met and were married a week later. There are those who were together for a long time as friends and got divorced few years after getting married. I read something of a blog the web search presented- a gentleman stated that most of his lengthy relationships were with those who gave quick responses as compared to those who were held back in their response. There are couples who have been together as friends for long who are also thriving.
The most important thing is to know the person well enough to believe you can be with that person. It is a decision you make personally. Nobody can make that choice for you. Many great men of God have made inputs on this topic and I personally believe listening to some of them may be a guiding rod for those who are facing this issue. I will leave you with a verse to ponder over
Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV)
God bless you