The Deception of Care


It’s indeed nice to receive care from an individual especially if it has been absent most of your life or just when you are at your most vulnerable. You find this pretty damsel or that knight in shining armor coming to the rescue, bearing a sanctuary of care and oh! how quickly most of us singles will fall into the arms of this individual. We will quickly lay all our burdens and worries unto the shoulders of these individuals as they clearly lay down the fact that they are ready to bear it with us: and they seem to be doing so and very well if I may add.

The big question is, is this a good enough reason to ‘fall in love’ with this person? You will find that quite a number of relationships these days are based on these reasons.

‘He is a good guy. He was there for me when I needed it most.’

‘I have not felt loved in a long time but she makes me feel that way.’

We are grateful to God that this person has been there for you in your gloomy moments, that they are exuding some form of love that has not been present in a long time but please let us not make this a reason to go proposing or accept a proposal when it comes knocking.

Care can be used as a tool of deception to get you trapped in a place where you never expected yourself to be. Take for example a lady who has never really been taken out on a date by any man and this cute gentleman offers to send her out on one. It’s her first and she goes all gooey about it when it happens. She begins to believe probably the guy is in love with her. Or perhaps, a gentleman who receives a gift from a lady on his birthday. This rarely happens and the lady took the extra effort of getting him a shirt of his favorite color. These situations will send us spiraling into dreamland. Those who wield these sanctuary are very particular about details initially. Will it last?


Most often it doesn’t. The individual who was once very sensitive about your every need may become a very unconcerned person. His or her views now become what is important and not yours. Your feelings do not matter much to them. They have shown you enough care initially to last you a lifetime may be their mindset. So the once loving and caring individual will turn into a horrible person who will be draining the very life out of you. If for some reason you are pulled in too deep you become a living zombie.

So why did the fairytale end so quickly? Where was the happily ever after they promised in the many story books we read as kids? The reality is life just hit you hard. The real world doesn’t provide happily ever afters. What it really offers is work to make each day happy. The prince charming or your pretty princess did not really end up being what you were expecting and you begin to ask what your mistakes were. Quite a lot actually but one most importantly; you closed your eyes to all the evidence that existed.

The care that this person was showing you overshadowed every other sign that this person wasn’t right for you. You obviously decided to turn a deaf ear to the numerous advice you received from friends or relatives. The other alternative could be a lot of people knew very little about this person, but hey, it only takes a day to know someone. Yes it does. It takes a day to know the ‘someone’ that person wants to show you; the facade the person is putting up to win you over to their side. The person may have shown signs of being abusive either physically or emotionally; being lazy and unproductive yet  you still chose care over everything else. At the time it was more important. So what are you to do?

I must be quick to add that not everyone who is showing you care has the motive of deceiving you into being with them and even if they do not all of them turn out ugly. I am however of the view we shouldn’t use this as the basis to get ourselves involved with someone. If you have been deprived of care for a very long time do not just jump at the opportunity at the first sight of it. If you are going through a gloomy situation learn to heal before you go totally relying on care being offered by someone. These things lead to emotional attachments that trust me, you are nowhere near ready for. If you have someone who is showing you some excessive form of care and you feel you are ‘falling’, do take time to get to know the person from people around you and around them. For all you know the story they may be carrying may be a total hoax.

The one who shows us unconditional love and care is our Father in heaven Who has specifically asked to cast our burdens unto Him. That is very reassuring; the Creator of this universe actually has an interest in my worries.

Yes He does.

Much more than you can ever imagine and that should be where we receive our care. If you find yourself already tied up to someone who won you through the deception of care and things are not going the way you wished it, kindly don’t throw in the towel. Our Father is ever willing to help you resolve your issues. Just spend some time in prayer with the One Who really cares. Let us be safe out there.

xoxo                                                                                                                                       .

God bless you.


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