It almost happened again and as usual it pushed Anne to her knees but her lips were not praying. She was battling with disappointment, anger and fear. Disappointment because this meant she was still weak, anger at being weak and fear at remaining weak. All these weighed on her soul and all the sighs in the world could not make the burden light. She was not a lesbian- to that she could tell hell, “No” but then why these desires for her best friend Rita and why did they both indulge in acts that could be classified as homosexual. She remembered the first day they had kissed, it was exciting and scary for both of them. They had both run to the chapel and cried unto God believing that it will not happen again. Oh! but it took more than belief to make it stop.They later found themselves seeking for counsel from a church leader. It was expedient they spoke to someone to keep them in check without judging them and bless God they found one. But that seemed to start their daily battle against their flesh.
*** *** ***
Rita just stared as the lecturer rattled on and on about logarithms, this grey-haired man seemed to have answers to a whole lot of things. She wondered if he had answers to what she was currently facing. It had almost happened again and this thing was killing her. They had began petting and cuddling when she pulled away and said,
“No!”- ‘No’ to her fleshy desires.
Anne had agreed.. The whole scene should have helped make her feel proud but it just showed her they both had a lot of work to do and that didn’t seem like something to be proud of. A small voice of sanity posed a question to her as she sat in the lecture room, oblivious of her surrounding.
“Aren’t you supposed to work out your salvation with fear and trembling? Why give up now.” she had to let the question hang over her for a while.
*** *** ***
“If anybody should be going through this it should not be her,” Anne concluded in her thoughts. She was a child of the manse and had lived a life of service to God from childhood. She enjoyed God and loved having a relationship with Him. Thoughts of all these seemed to mock her current state in life saying,” I thought you were a christian’
*** *** ***
” She had been working-both of them have been working,” Rita argued in her thoughts. They had sought counseling, sought God, fasted and prayed. They had both considered separating all together but that had to be ruled out- they needed each other to pull through this and the devil should not have a reason to rejoice that He had managed to destroy a pure work of God. Just then answers came flooding Rita’s soul filling her with joy and hope. She could not wait to tell Anne.
*** *** ***
” Okay, you go first, ” Rita finally gave in to Anne. It seemed the Holy Spirit had ministered to both of them.
“Do yo remember that parable Jesus gave about the wheat and tares?”
“Good, Rita, you and I are just like the Wheat. God has planted us firmly in a good soil but in a moment of unawareness-the enemy came in to sow this thing called tares…” Rita nodded again
” Well notice this, this shows how powerless the devil and this thing actually is. See, the Devil or the Tares could not change the nature of the seed which the Bible calls “good seed” all it could do was to exist among the wheat…and though this thing has not been cut down it does not mean that our nature in the eyes of our maker has changed.”
Rita couldn’t help but grin.
” This simply goes on to say that what we have been praying about is already done, it is finished. Along with the whole bunch of sin, the works of the flesh have been put to death. All we have to do is live in that consciousness and the fact that though we may have such desires we mustn’t allow ourselves to succumb to our flesh…our way of working out our salvation and daily beating our flesh is by entering the rest of the Lord Jesus.” Anne had to hug her friend.
” And do you know the greatest and sweetest revelation yet?” Rita asked her dear friend, “…God loves us Anne…He still loves us…”
” Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”
Written By: Abigail Affum
You weren’t created to be a Homosexual. God created you to be unique and to serve Him in that uniqueness. Do not succumb to those feelings or fall into that trap where you are told God might have made a mistake by creating you the way He did. You may have fallen so many times but remember His strength is perfected in your weakness. Please surrender unto Jesus.
For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again….
God bless you richly.