I have heard many say experience is the best teacher however I am of the view that sometimes it doesn’t just teach, it transforms negatively. Some friends and colleagues would rather sit and watch you fall into that ditch with the lame excuse of letting experience teach you a thing or two.
I have met people who have been transformed negatively because of a bad experience with someone or a couple of repeated bad experiences with varied people. Take for instance M’aafia, who has been jilted not once, nor twice or even thrice by her many boyfriends and each one of them in turn takes a piece of her already small and fragile heart along as they leave. Some would say M’aafia is justified to hate or dislike men for this reason.
Or you can speak to Yaw, who has resorted to playing women because the two consecutive women he trusted with his whole being turned out to be talented liars who were in for his money and a chance at his dad’s wealth. Experience hasn’t just taught these two, it has transformed them into little green monsters who are out to seek revenge on unenlightened parties who know nothing of their past experiences.
You might have become single because that man you looked up to fell out of love, but don’t use that experience as your standard for men and make blanket statements about how men are generally untrustworthy. Granted, lately there are quite a number of bad nuts in the soup making it taste far from good but I assure you, there are good nuts in there too who are drowning in ‘misery’ because you have already pre-judged them by your experience with a bad nut.
The Bible didn’t mince words when it said to forgive those who have wronged us and to pray for our enemies. It’s almost a herculean task to forgive anyone who breaks your heart because your flesh judges them. However the hard truth is- it might have been for your own good. Look at Ama who is soon to be married. As she sat one day during her lunch break at work, she read from the class group page that her first boyfriend- whom she had loved so much- was up for trial for beating his current girlfriend to a pulp. She shuddered when she remembered how he used to slap her a couple of times in their relationship and thanked God he had taken her out of such a life of pain. Ama may have capitalized on her ex-boyfriend’s behaviour and zoned a couple of men after the break up but she didn’t allow experience to transform her, she had painfully picked up the pieces and moved on.
Today I encourage you to pick yourself up and let God mend you. No one would understand the tangible pain in your heart or why your eyes never seem to be totally dried out but learn this, don’t let that experience transform you- instead let it teach you.
God bless you
Are you willing to share any experiences that almost turned you into the green monster?