Flee from sexual immorality.
All other sins a person commits are outside the body,
But whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body
Eyram buried her head in her hands and sobbed loudly.
Counsellor Leo shook his head. He knew she was sad and hurt with herself but he also knew that Eyram wasn’t doing one thing right. He had tried on many occasions after each of her confessions to tell her this but she didn’t seem to want to hear him.
‘Eyram, please stop crying.’ He said softly.
‘I hate myself ‘, she said in between sobs and lifted her head. I hate myself so much Leo. I try so hard but each time I fall. I think I am going to stop coming here and just live a life of sin.
‘Calm down Eyram, please try not to get so worked up. Tell me what happened.
Eyram returned to her previous position by burying her head back into her hands.
‘I can’t bring myself to tell you all the details Leo. I just can’t.’
‘But you will have to try. That’s the only reason you came here. You want someone to talk to, someone to listen apart from your boyfriend.
Eyram remained silent and still for a few minutes. Finally she raised her head, got out of her seat and walked to the window beside Leo’s huge office desk. She stared out of the glass panel to the lawn of the building where his office was and allowed her mind to wander.
She had started dating Philip a couple of months ago and had joined the purity crusade on campus. At least she thought she had joined till the temptation got so great she felt she couldn’t help herself and had to just taste. A tight hug, became a peck on the cheek, the neck, a French kiss and now …
She felt like beating herself sore. The guilt was too much and tearing her up. It was all the unending guilt that pushed her to finally agree to see a counsellor. Philip had suggested it long ago but she had stalled till now.
‘Are you ready to talk now dear? Leo asked.
Eyram was startled out of her thoughts. She hadn’t heard Leo walk towards her or felt him put his hands on her shoulder.
She sighed loudly and let her shoulders slump.
‘We did it again last night…. And fought after and did it again.’
‘Come take a seat and let’s talk more.’ Leo said calmly, as he led Eyram to the same seat she had vacated earlier.
She dragged her feet towards the chair and slumped down.
Leo sat opposite her leaning towards her with his arms on his highs and his hands clasped tight.
‘I have been trying to tell you this for a while but you never seem to wait for me to get to that part before you become all defensive.’
Eyram had no idea what he was talking about.
‘What are you talking about? She asked in bewilderment.
‘Someone has to take control of this relationship and make a decision and stick by that decision no matter the situation.
‘I…’ Eyram began but was stopped abruptly when Leo raised his right hand at her indicating she stop talking and listen.
‘You took the decision to be pure and stay pure in your relationship. However, you weren’t totally truthful to yourself. You felt it was always Philip’s responsibility to stop you guys from going too far. I know you are thinking he is the man, so he needs to take such decision and responsibilities but you should know that you needed to stand up in his stead when he was failing to meet the target. And he fell so many times and you followed suit.
Just because you say no when he starts talking dirty and behaving funny doesn’t make you bad. And just because he fell doesn’t mean he isn’t a true child of God. At times, we allow the desires of now to cloud our thoughts and judgements of the future and its replications. You are beautiful lady with everything any man would want. And the fight to stay pure from a man’s side isn’t easy.
All those times you both fell, you could have taken that decision and stood solidly beside it. He just needed someone to jolt him out of his carnal state but you were urging him on.
Eyram started at her shoes in silence.
Leo was right. She had always wanted a guy who was crazy for God and Philip fell exactly in that category but she had totally relied on him to keep their relationship pure. She didn’t put any effort into stopping him when his hands strayed or when he spoke about stuff that caused her mind to fly off to the land of conceptual fornication.
‘Right now both of you need space. Being together won’t help with this situation. You need to get it right with God. You know your relationship with God right now is nothing to speak on.
‘It’s going to be so hard Leo.’ Eyram stated in a sad voice.
‘I know hun, but God is in this with you and I am here to help. I wanted to inform Philip on your behalf but I want you to do so on your own. It’s your first step to winning this battle.
Sometimes I finish writing and I realize I might have just recounted someone’s story up there. Most times we are of the view that staying pure in a relationship is easy- especially for those who have never dated. We forget we are sexually attracted to whomever who choose to date. That is one of the factors we consider before proposing or accepting a proposal- consciously or unconsciously.
Today I want to encourage you all. Being and staying pure in a relationship is a two way street. We need to keep our partners in check when they are going beyond the boundary line and be accountable to someone- not just anyone by the way.
Purity in a relationship is not farfetched. You can start now. And be disciplined cos I can tell you boldly that its one hard road but remember God is always on your side.
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I love you all